Long Overdue

Alright, I haven't given up yet and that's the good news for this post.  It's the end of week four and I can't decide whether I should cry, curl up into the fetal position, hibernate, or laugh...and when I say laugh, I mean that I could probably compare this kind of laughter to laughing at a funeral, you know like laughing when you aren't supposed to but the situation is so awkward that you don't know what else to do.  Yeah.

I started working an internship at a political consulting firm and I love it.  I pretend like I'm Olivia Pope and it's wonderful.  The best part about the whole thing is that they are LIBERAL!  Goodness, I miss D.C.  But really...nostalgia from the liberals in D.C. because Oklahoma and...well, you get the point.

I'm learning though.  I have the coolest professors this year; I literally love all of them.  I'm also learning that as much as I think that I go through, there are a number of others who go through situations way worse than mine so there's no need to be emotional and irrational about it.

Anchorsplash is coming up and I personally, am SO SO SO READY.  I also just realized that I need to finish applying for a number of different things by like next week so these next two weeks are about to be packed.  Speaking of which, there's something that I just feel like I need to address.

Busy.  Everyone and their mother, is busy.  Hell, I'm busy.  But you know what?  Busy does not give you an excuse to be a crappy person.  Really, busy is not an excuse at all.  "Oh, yeah I haven't had time for you in two months because I've been busy."  

You wanna know how busy I'VE been?  No, you sure don't because you didn't ask.  You didn't ask because you don't care; busy is just an ugly excuse for "I don't care about you enough to give you the time of day".

End rant.  That's just something I've realized over these last few weeks, because luckily enough, my best friend goes to the U of A and at the end of a long day, still makes time for me.  My mom works 40+ hours a week and still makes time for me.  It's really great and my life isn't so bad.  I'm still trying to get into the groove of things here, but it seems like there's some new obstacle in my way every day.  I catch myself being so exhausted that I can't wait to get in bed at the end of the day, but once I'm in bed, I get so anxious about what I have to do the next day that I end up staying up all night worrying or trying to get something else done.  But thankfully, I have some really great friends that make it easy to call Norman home. 

College is hard--if you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life, do not invest your money or time into attending college.  It will be a giant waste.  Thankfully enough, I love what I do.

To each his own, I suppose.  Shout out to my mom for sending me socks and a new headband today along with an awesome card to cheer me up.  It's pretty neat that she just knows when I'm in need.  In the meantime, say a prayer that I will survive this semester and leave with my sanity in tact; as always, I'll leave y'all with a little something that I have to constantly remind myself with every day.  

"When we are sure that we are on the

right road there is no need to plan our

journey too far ahead. No need to

burden ourselves with doubts and fears

as to the obstacles that may bar our 

progress. We cannot take more than 

one step at a time."

-Orison Swett Marden

  

Week 1 (COMPLETE)

I SURVIVED WEEK ONE OF MY JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE!

So much happened this week that I can't even wrap my head around all of it.  I have either had the chance to sit down and catch up with people or I have run into them on campus.  I'm that girl that literally screams joy to see all of my friends back here on campus, but even on a campus like this, I have to keep in mind that not everyone feels so surrounded by love and support--somewhere so big can make you feel so small and that's tough.

17 hours.  I'm in 17 hours and classes are hard.  I'm in two different languages, one of which has required more patience and time than I ever intended to spend on it and I'm only on week 1.  French and Spanish together are just tough, but luckily I have enjoyed ALL of my professors so far.

I didn't have my Politics of Russia class this week because Dr. Goode has been researching in Siberia.  I'm as surprised as y'all are, I didn't realize that anyone willingly went to Siberia but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that he's an interesting man for doing so.  My classes require a lot of reading and patience and different languages.  Not many people are stupid enough to take 17 hours, but here I am.  On the brighter side of things, I had my study abroad meeting this week and my adviser is such a doll.  I can't wait to go abroad and she is just getting me more and more excited.  While I really wanted to go to Buenos Aires, it's looking like I'll be going to Ecuador.  It's half the price for a student exchange program there and it goes from the end of January to the end of April; needless to say that I'm scared to death but even more excited to jump in with both feet.

This week has just been really long and really weird.  If my weeks in DC had lasted this long, wooooo I would've been SO happy.

Meanwhile, here I am, still in college and still learning from my rookie mistakes.  Don't get me wrong y'all, I have some of the greatest friends in the world.  But sometimes, I lose patience with people in the way that I care about everyone--if I call you my friend, I care.  And sometimes it's tough to find the happy medium between "treat others how you want to be treated" and "treat others how they treat you".  I'm a doormat, but if I reciprocate that treatment, all hell breaks loose.  It's much more satisfying to be nice, but sometimes it's exhausting.  

On the brighter side, I got to know a few of my friends a little bit better this week and as I get deeper into my classes, I continue to find a new love for what I do and what I'm working towards.  

Anyway, as unorganized as that was, next week's post will be better...hopefully.  Until then, I'll leave y'all with an awesome piece of advice that an old family friend sent me before I left DC a few weeks ago.

"I'm convinced that the difference between those that succeed and those that do not, is their ability to never give up.  Find your passion and jump in with both feet."

-(Not actually anonymous but not releasing a name)  

Week 1

For starters, I just think blogging is healthy.  It's healthy because I am able to give those of you who feel distant from me some insight into what my life is like on a day to day basis, which makes me vulnerable.  Vulnerable to both welcome and unwelcome opinions, happy and unhappy thoughts, but most of all, it lets you all know that I am a normal human being, I make mistakes, but I am relatable.  

Anyway, this post is just kind of a short one.  School starts tomorrow so even though I'm dead tired, I stayed up to creep my class rosters.  17 hours of classes, y'all.  We'll see if I have any hair left on top of my head by the end of the semester. 

This weekend has been so great, getting back into the swing of things here in Norman.  There are few better feelings than the following two:

1.) The sense of belonging.  Don't get me wrong, home is wherever my mama is but it feels good to be back around people my age.

2.) Realizing that your friends missed you as much as you missed them.  It's wonderful.

As happy as I am to be back, I'm really dreading this whole week.  I love school and I'm pumped for classes but at the same time, classes are going to be difficult.  International Security & Spanish are gonna slowly drive me insane.  Between "The Politics of Russia" and "US-Middle East Relations 1945-Present", I also have beginning French (never spoken a lick of French in my life) and conversational Spanish (a class full of a bunch of kids that I don't know).  Oh, don't forget the best one yet--"The Evolution of Martyrdom in the Christian-Judeo Civilization".  

I caught myself stressing out today, more than once.  People's opinions can really get to you.  I mean, REALLY get to you.  Sticks and stones, blah blah but it's like a mental block.  Being constantly set out to prove people wrong is a tough mindset to stay in, but God bless if that's not where I'm at with about 90% of the people who think they have any sort of opinion about me.  Luckily, I was surrounded by almost all of my favorite people at some point or another this weekend.  After having lunch with Elise and returning to Sunday dinners with Brandon, it's nice to know I have a support group as awesome as those two, not to mention my roommate Kristen and Sasha, my triplet.  In the mean time, I was reminded that too much of anything is not a good thing and there is no such thing as too much "Tea Cafe".  So while I'm sitting here frantically filling out my planner full of things that need to be done or are expected to be done, I'm finding solace in the fact that I am halfway done with my college career.  After tomorrow, there will only be three more semesters of not knowing my professors or classmates or worrying about whether or not all the information in my planner is correct.  

Mondays are the longest day of the week for all of my classes so of course, tomorrow is unavoidable. Mondays man.  Let's just hope that this year is as rockin' as the past two years have been.  Oh and I miss DC dearly.

If you do what you need, you're surviving.  If you do what you want, you're living.

-Unknown