1/2

There we go, counting down our time again.  Halfway through the semester, midterms, which means over halfway through my college career.  Life hits so hard and fast sometimes.

There hasn't been much going on at school.  Lots of applications, lots of tests and quizzes, papers and midterms, on top of interning.  I was sick all week though so I'm just recovering.  Dallas was a blast but I obviously came back exhausted and sick so I'm glad midterms were last week for me.  Luckily, I was able to eat a full meal today with my one of my favorite and busiest friends, Blessing.  We got to chatting and there are two things that were really weighing on my mind.

First: What do you want to do after college?

Okay, honestly, I've known for a long time and it's no secret to anyone who knows me where I want to be after I graduate.  So when someone looks at me and tells me that they are enrolled in college courses but don't know what they want to do, I am always a little more than confused.  But as a freshman or a sophomore, you're kind of allowed to not know--you have "time".  As a junior, I don't know about y'all, but for me I'm like okay time for you to pull your head out of your hiney and figure out where you're supposed to be.

Is it really that hard?  To decide where you're going to be after college?  It's really not even a decision, it's just wherever your little heart tells you to go; college isn't even on the radar for some of us and that's relatable--college isn't for everyone.  But quit wasting your time and money on something that you aren't even sure of or passionate about, you know?

Better yet, is it worth it to go through four years of college, studying something that's going to make you money but that you don't enjoy?  I don't get it.  Maybe that's just me though.

Second: Why do the nice ones always finish last?

I ask myself all the time, WHY DO I GET TRAMPLED ON ALL THE TIME?  WHY DOESN'T ANYONE APPRECIATE WHAT I DO?

^ but that's selfish.  I don't need anything in return except some acknowledgement and the occasional TLC.  YEAH, there, I said it.  Me, Rachele Clegg.  I need some TLC; I have all this love to give (probably not obviously, and surprisingly to a lot of you) but when I need it reciprocated, I find myself in the middle of Area 51 or something.  But you know what?  That's a lot to ask for out of people anymore.  Common decency used to be a thing, but it's not anymore.  It's not a thing at all.  I catch myself getting jealous of other people's materialistic things, but then I recognize how miserable they are.  I'll take happiness over misery any day but sometimes, if I got a little lucky, I wouldn't mind a single bit.  The good news though?

Good people, bring out the good in people.      

You know what other excuse really grinds my gears?  Maybe I've mentioned it before, but the excuse of "I'm busy".  No, you're not busy.  You either just don't care or you have really crappy time management.  Yeah, I said that too.  If you're too "busy", you're probably one of those people that doesn't have to use a planner to even get your life organized.     

Bottom line: Figure your future out & be nicer because you never know what tomorrow's gonna bring. 

So I'll leave y'all with a quote that's kept me pushing through lately and maybe even a picture.

You were born with the ability to change someone's life, don't ever waste it.

-Lilly Pulitzer

In a month's time..

Sorry y'all.  It's been a month since I've posted so if you actually try to keep up with me...well, I have been posting pictures here and there on Facebook so that has to count for something.  In case you were wanting a small update and some food for thought though, I decided I needed a study break so buckle up.  We have 4 or 5 weeks worth of catching up to do, but I'll try to keep it concise.

I finished my application for the State Department for the summer so I'm pulling for something good to fall my way again.

I just finished a couple of other applications for the DoD and the DoJ. 

I'm currently trying to finish my application for the CLS program.

I got approved to study abroad in Quito, Ecuador.  Don't ask me about Quito because I don't know a single thing.  I'm thinking I might go in completely blind just so the trip is full of surprises.

ANCHORSPLASH IS OVER.  Veronica and I set a record--over $25,000 raised for Service for Sight.  I could not be more excited about it either.

Aside from that, I started my new internship with Tilley & Nichols consulting firm and I absolutely love it.  I've gotten to work with Joe Dorman a little bit and I have to say, the thought of the political world does still spark my interest.  We'll see though, I really enjoy the track I'm on so far.  Which leads me into my next topic.

Do you ever feel like you're in the wrong profession?  Or that you're studying the wrong profession?  It's not necessarily wrong because you don't love it--I love what I'm studying and both of my majors.  Sometimes though, I catch myself wondering if I'm in the wrong thing because I'm so good with people.  I know what most of you are thinking--Rachele...good with people?  Loud, obnoxious Rachele???  Yeah, me.  I have realized lately that I don't meet a stranger, and even when I do, I bet you I could have them telling me their life story in our first fifteen minutes of meeting.  I'm just that comfortable and trustworthy.  I'm good at my major because I bust my rear end to be good at it, but working with people is just natural to me.  

But over here in the real world (by real world, I mean everything within the confines of the University of Oklahoma) things have been rough.  When they tell you 17 hours might be kind of tough...boy they weren't kidding you.  It's the hardest thing I've ever done!  I really enjoy my classes, but each one is full of a TON of information.  I absolutely adore my professors but all of them know so much about their topic that sometimes it's hard for me to keep up with my notes in class.  I'm enjoying four midterms this week and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to try to keep up with.  Thankfully, my friend Troy has kept me on track with my studying by basically being my accountability partner and studying with me whenever I need him to.  What a wonderful thing, huh?  

Nonetheless, as good as I usually am at juggling a full schedule, this whole 17 hours, an internship, and a directorship with DG thing (which is basically over now that Anchorsplash is done) is NOT EASY.  I hit my breaking point last week.  Yeah...yeah it was pretty ugly.  It was like a ton of panic and anxiety hit me all at once--school work is hard to keep up with, I never have the energy to do anything "fun" or to even be that social anymore, and for the first time since I got to college, I got REALLY homesick.  So appreciate your parents, boys and girls, because I sure do miss my mom.  I'm lucky to be surrounded by a pretty great group of people here though.  Sunday dinners with my best friend Brandon give me a sense of routine and normalcy; Aves, Bake, and David provide the comic relief and when I need a listener, I bug Austin until he's free.  Not to mention, I always have Mel way out in Arkansas to listen to me too.  

As unemotional as I used to be, I feel like this semester has turned me into a basket case.  I constantly catch myself being more and more irritable, losing my temper, and wanting to just tear up at the drop of a hat.  Sometimes keeping it together is harder than you think.  BUT THAT'S OKAY.  It is okay to have an off day every now and then.  Feelings are acceptable, they are not meant to be an embarrassing thing.  They are what makes us human--it is not a weakness.

Sigh.  That was a mouthful.  OU-saxeT is this weekend and I'm pumped.  But until then, I'll be studying my brains out.  

Until next time, y'all.

The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.

-Abraham Lincoln