Per usual, I'm gonna drop some knowledge here. Right here. In this first little opening statement of an incredibly pointless blog post.
A proper way to prepare you for the real world or what is to come "AFTER COLLEGE" does not exist.
There. I said it. Sorry upcoming college grads, but I have searched the world over and there is no answer. Now, I'm not just randomly bringing this to your attention. As I was originally saying, this blog post is not for the entertainment of the reader, for once. It is my way of de-stressing and winding down but it's also my way of letting you guys in on my life piece by piece.
Okay so I'll let you guys in on what happened and my epiphany and really just how weird its been around here lately. I was sick all last week, with a migraine that lasted for a full four days (not exaggerating, it was miserable), the occasional vomiting spell, fever, stomach pains, a short hospital visit, Avery basically babysitting me like a sick child for a few days, and I'm suddenly better! Getting there, at least. Needless to say, I missed my first day of class, so I had that on Monday.
Monday is where things get weird. I woke up Monday and I was actually ready to start my week. I got to work at Penn at 8 AM on Monday like
Straight up, feeling like Obama when he was told that Boehner was stepping down.
Anyway. Work went really well, practically like Christmas because we were getting all of our new spring items in. I went to class afterwards, that went really well and I realized how much I may actually enjoy my capstone this semester. I went to a meeting afterwards, which went very well. I had a good day. But I also went to Starbucks.
I had a conversation in Starbucks that would alter my entire day and probably the rest of my semester. I'm gonna tell you how it went and I bet that 80% of you who are graduating in May will be able to...well, relate. Or validate my feelings.
A nice, older man struck up conversation about school with me while I was waiting in line. He asked me what I was studying, when I was graduating, how classes were going. But then he dropped the bomb.
So, what are your plans after graduation?????
I don't know what I looked like after he asked me that but the Good Lord knows it wasn't pretty. I told him I had plans to move to Washington, D.C. but that nothing was set in stone yet. He wished me luck and took off for the day.
I'll never see that guy again, obviously. But I realized that's what pushed me off my rocker for the day.
So when I got home, I had a little bit of time to eat and wind down, with some spare time to go finish a craft at Avery's and come home for the night. When I got home, I started trying to get my life in order--all typical for an end-of-the-day wrap up before bed. Something pushed me back into that Starbucks store with that same guy asking me what my plans were after graduation and my brain went to mush. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS AFTER GRADUATION?????
For lack of a better, more "PC" term...I lost my shit.
But I'm going to tell you where I quickly stopped crying and found my solace. It was after 1 in the morning when I decided I just wanted company. Naturally, right? So I call the only person I think could possibly be awake to make me feel better and that I trust enough to see me teary eyed and snot nosed. GRANT POSEY. Woo, all of you from home know how great Grant is, but none of you know how great it is to have Grant in Norman now. Naturally, he doesn't answer. So I'm still crying and trying to figure out why I don't know how to answer the simplest question "WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER GRADUATION?????" and why it's bugging me so much when my phone starts ringing. GRANT WAS AWAKE. I got in my car and immediately drove over. After a few hours of chatting and just shooting the breeze, I left much happier and a little calmer.
The best piece of advice Grant gave me is that it is perfectly all right to not know the answer to every question you're asked. I recognized that all of my life, I have had an answer to anything thrown at me. Is it always the RIGHT one? Well...my track record is pretty good, but the answer is no, it's not. But there's always been SOME kind of answer and that's what matters--the immediate gratification of feeling like you have your shit together.
Basically, for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I don't know what's next. Life is quite literally coming at me faster and faster every single day and I don't know what happens after May. But everything about that is okay because sooner or later, answers will come and life will work itself out like it's supposed to. Tonight, I'm counting Aves and Grant Posey twice when I count my blessings tonight. Friends like them are a dime a dozen.
In the mean time though, for those of you that keep asking us 2016 grads what we're doing after college...
Because it's like pushing a big, red button that screams anxiety, tears, and a lot of other emotions that just don't make sense. You may think we have it all together, but I know that I for one, do not.
The clock will continue to tick and the wheels will continue to turn. Until then, be thankful for the answers that you DO have.
There is nothing so uncertain as a sure thing.
-Scotty Bowman
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