Proper Preparations for the Real World

Per usual, I'm gonna drop some knowledge here.  Right here.  In this first little opening statement of an incredibly pointless blog post.  

A proper way to prepare you for the real world or what is to come "AFTER COLLEGE" does not exist.

There.  I said it.  Sorry upcoming college grads, but I have searched the world over and there is no answer.  Now, I'm not just randomly bringing this to your attention.  As I was originally saying, this blog post is not for the entertainment of the reader, for once.  It is my way of de-stressing and winding down but it's also my way of letting you guys in on my life piece by piece. 

Okay so I'll let you guys in on what happened and my epiphany and really just how weird its been around here lately.  I was sick all last week, with a migraine that lasted for a full four days (not exaggerating, it was miserable), the occasional vomiting spell, fever, stomach pains, a short hospital visit, Avery basically babysitting me like a sick child for a few days, and I'm suddenly better!  Getting there, at least.  Needless to say, I missed my first day of class, so I had that on Monday.

Monday is where things get weird.  I woke up Monday and I was actually ready to start my week.  I got to work at Penn at 8 AM on Monday like

Straight up, feeling like Obama when he was told that Boehner was stepping down.  

Anyway.  Work went really well, practically like Christmas because we were getting all of our new spring items in.  I went to class afterwards, that went really well and I realized how much I may actually enjoy my capstone this semester.  I went to a meeting afterwards, which went very well.  I had a good day.  But I also went to Starbucks.

I had a conversation in Starbucks that would alter my entire day and probably the rest of my semester.  I'm gonna tell you how it went and I bet that 80% of you who are graduating in May will be able to...well, relate.  Or validate my feelings.

A nice, older man struck up conversation about school with me while I was waiting in line.  He asked me what I was studying, when I was graduating, how classes were going.  But then he dropped the bomb.  

So, what are your plans after graduation?????

I don't know what I looked like after he asked me that but the Good Lord knows it wasn't pretty.  I told him I had plans to move to Washington, D.C. but that nothing was set in stone yet.  He wished me luck and took off for the day.

I'll never see that guy again, obviously.  But I realized that's what pushed me off my rocker for the day.

So when I got home, I had a little bit of time to eat and wind down, with some spare time to go finish a craft at Avery's and come home for the night.  When I got home, I started trying to get my life in order--all typical for an end-of-the-day wrap up before bed.  Something pushed me back into that Starbucks store with that same guy asking me what my plans were after graduation and my brain went to mush.  WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS AFTER GRADUATION?????

For lack of a better, more "PC" term...I lost my shit.  

But I'm going to tell you where I quickly stopped crying and found my solace.  It was after 1 in the morning when I decided I just wanted company.  Naturally, right?  So I call the only person I think could possibly be awake to make me feel better and that I trust enough to see me teary eyed and snot nosed.  GRANT POSEY.  Woo, all of you from home know how great Grant is, but none of you know how great it is to have Grant in Norman now.  Naturally, he doesn't answer.  So I'm still crying and trying to figure out why I don't know how to answer the simplest question "WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER GRADUATION?????" and why it's bugging me so much when my phone starts ringing.  GRANT WAS AWAKE.  I got in my car and immediately drove over.  After a few hours of chatting and just shooting the breeze, I left much happier and a little calmer.  

The best piece of advice Grant gave me is that it is perfectly all right to not know the answer to every question you're asked.  I recognized that all of my life, I have had an answer to anything thrown at me.  Is it always the RIGHT one?  Well...my track record is pretty good, but the answer is no, it's not.  But there's always been SOME kind of answer and that's what matters--the immediate gratification of feeling like you have your shit together.  

Basically, for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I don't know what's next.  Life is quite literally coming at me faster and faster every single day and I don't know what happens after May.  But everything about that is okay because sooner or later, answers will come and life will work itself out like it's supposed to.  Tonight, I'm counting Aves and Grant Posey twice when I count my blessings tonight.  Friends like them are a dime a dozen.

In the mean time though, for those of you that keep asking us 2016 grads what we're doing after college...

Because it's like pushing a big, red button that screams anxiety, tears, and a lot of other emotions that just don't make sense.  You may think we have it all together, but I know that I for one, do not.  

The clock will continue to tick and the wheels will continue to turn.  Until then, be thankful for the answers that you DO have.

There is nothing so uncertain as a sure thing.

-Scotty Bowman

Deuces, 2015.

There's a lot to be said for 2015 and I intend on saying everything that I possibly can.

I learned things that I never thought I would have to learn during my 20's and while it was hard, it was definitely for the better.

Things got tough more than once, but it is so comforting to be surrounded by the greatest friends and an even better family.  I learned how to be patient, hold my tongue when necessary, how to be accepting, an entirely new language, and finally, how to make amends.

I ate things I never dreamed of eating.

I survived food in TWO FOREIGN COUNTRIES!  For those of you that know me well and grew up with me, or have even gone through college with me, you know how hard it is for me to stray from chicken.  By hard, I mean I literally learned that I love pizza and salad and sandwiches.  Talk about a damn epiphany.

I traveled through/lived in two different countries.  When I say lived, I mean I lived.

Ecuador, Colombia.  Mountains, beaches, cities, clubs.  Three new families who adopted me as their own for two different seasons and actually want me to come back and visit.  Friends in Quito and my dear friends ALL over Colombia.  I went bungee jumping, paragliding, zip lining, and off of an extreme swing on the side of a mountain.   

I actually dated around and more than one time for that matter!!!! (To mama and the rest of my family, I know how happy you are to hear I "finally gave someone a chance" aka someone finally gave me a chance.)

I hate to tell you guys this, but long distance doesn't really work.  It doesn't work from continent to continent for sure.  You know what else doesn't work?  Investing in someone who isn't willing to invest their time into you because they're "busy".  {Busy with someone else that they didn't tell you about until you already wasted your time} BUT THAT IS OKAY because every experience is a learning experience.  I also learned I really hate having to answer to anyone.  Not that we didn't know that before, but still.  I guess it was also a reassuring experience?

I INTERNED {AGAIN} but this time it was in a different country for a non-profit and I even got to work with kids!  Those of you who know me know that I have a very small amount of patience, but I actually loved it.

Smile Education Foundation brought me one of my favorite families and about a million kids and teenagers in Colombia I am so invested in that I cry when I look back at pictures because I miss it so much.  Jardín, I will most definitely be back.

I discovered how much of the United States I haven't seen.

Thanks to American Airlines and a botched flight, I got to go ahead and knock Chicago off the list of to do's.  I also got to see Knoxville, so it's safe to say that Memphis is next.

No matter how hard you try and push yourself, there is always going to be someone that is criticizing who you are, what you're doing, or telling you that it isn't enough.

Tell those people to....well.  You get the point.  You are here, doing what you are doing, living your life day to day the way you do, for a reason.  I'm completely unaware of why {especially if it consists of watching Fox News in your daily routine} but there is a reason for everything.

So my best thing to say now, is jump in with both feet first.  Don't doddle around and hope that something comes to you.  Good things don't come to those who wait, good things come to those who work their ass off and snatch up what they're chasing.  

I got to see two new cities, two new countries, MY ROLE MODEL AT A LIVE SPEAKING EVENT, I wrote over 100 pages of notes, 100 pages of papers and tests, made new friends.  I did a lot of really cool things, honestly.  That isn't me bragging, that's me openly appreciating what I accomplished this year--every single one of you should look back on all of your accomplishments and pat yourselves on the back, because you're a big deal.  But with all of the cool things I did, the greatest thing I did was I made mistakes and then, I learned from them.

I'm all about trial and error.  I'm not going to lie, 2016 scares the absolute you-know-what out of me.  I graduate in May and I have about 40 different people telling me how to go about my business from there.  And I don't really know what I'm going to do.  I'm going to be successful because I just am too fearful of failure and too ambitious and passionate about what I'm studying to fail.  But it's okay to be unsure.  Guess what else?  I AM GOING TO BE A MAID OF HONOR.  I don't know why Ivy is trusting me with this job either, but I'm so humbled to be given all that love and trust for what's gonna be the best wedding of 2016.  

Oh, and about 2016.  I don't believe in New Years resolutions.  Honestly, I work to better myself each and every day.  January shouldn't be a month of trying to figure out where I can get better because you can get better in every single aspect.  Talk to someone you don't know in an airport, in the grocery store, on the street.  Don't go a day without smiling at a stranger or offering to help someone out because you can do all of that FO FREE.  That includes your gate agents in the airport, even when six of your flights have been canceled and you've been told that you will be stuck in Chicago for the next 72 hours.  I promise the rest of my blog posts will hopefully become more interesting than this throughout 2016. 

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

-Winston Churchill