Reverse Culture Shock

Did you know that reverse culture shock is actually a thing?  I remember hearing something about it during our study abroad orientation and I brushed it off as a load of BS because come on, four or five short months in another country can't affect you that much, can it?

PSA: YES IT CAN.

There is so much about Ecuador I already miss, but most of all I miss my friends.  I graduated high school and went to college and made new friends, so when I come home, there's a handful of people I still hang out with and that's it.  Owasso isn't Norman, and it most certainly isn't Quito.  

I miss the mountains and the sushi and even more so, the language.  When I landed in Miami, I was still trying to speak Spanish to everyone I saw.  At least most of Miami is bilingual so they didn't seem bothered by it. Chicago O'Hare was a different story....but that's fine.

Let me just talk a little bit about my friends for a second.  First off, SARAH B JOHNSON, my favorite little Michigan Stater.  I don't think I have ugly cried saying goodbye to someone like that in a long time.  It's bizarre to finally connect with someone and spend basically every day together then one day, you have to just up and leave.  Raul got to see me ugly cry too (sorry for that one...) because once again, goodbye isn't easy and he knows I'm not very emotional so it was just that much worse.  The most comforting part of saying bye to him was knowing that I'll be back soon to see him again AND that he's gonna be in Quito all summer.  Side note, Raul can play the guitar, sing, and loves country music so I guess now I know the subconscious reason on why I enjoyed him so much.  The Saturday before I left, needless to say, was emotional.  Sarah came to help me pack after spending the day with her and Raul.  I cried saying bye to Raul and after that, I was basically a fountain of tears the rest of the day.  Sarah made me cry helping me pack, then later on when I hung out with her and Ivan for my last time, I cried again, then host mom came home and made me cry.  Jose brought me a dozen red roses (which, by the way, customs doesn't let you bring home with you...) and I cried later on over that too, not to mention saying bye to my favorite Ecuadorian was hard enough; plus everyone in America was excited because they thought Clegg was bringing home a boyfriend (sorry for the disappointment everyone haaaa).  I said bye to Marisa that day, along with Laura and Antonia, had a nice and quiet sob sesh to myself.  

Just when I thought the crying was over, Sunday morning came and I had to say goodbye to my host family and sweet host mom.  I don't think I had it together the entire 40 minute cab ride to the airport, but that's fine.  Once I finally got on my plane and headed into Miami, I TRULY thought I was dehydrated enough and out of tears that I would stop.  But then I turned my phone back on and had the sweetest text from Anthony and just started crying all over again.

So I'm back home and love that I'm back with my mama and grandma, but I'm still adjusting.  It's bizarre to not wake up and have a fresh fruit breakfast complete with a scrambled egg and what not waiting on me every morning; it's a wake up call to be back in the real world where I actually have to start doing things for myself again (Gladys, host mom, did everything for me in Ecuador, literally...) and start getting things together for the summer.  Luckily enough, I landed a scholarship that is going to cover my entire internship and time in Colombia for the summer!  

The reason THAT is so huge is because this means I'll be able to afford a flight over from Bogotá into Quito while I'm there, which means I get to see Raul and Jose and Anthony all over again AND I GET TO TAKE CAROLINA WITH ME TO SEE MY COUNTRY!  I would like to claim that I'm Ecua but considering the pale skin and freckles....I just can't pass for it.  

Nonetheless, I catch myself chatting with Sarah every day as if I'm still there, which is hard because sometimes I also catch myself thinking wow I'm hungry I wonder what Sarah is doing...but obviously she's not just a short cab ride away anymore.  When I get bored, I just want to text Marisa because I could always convince her to convince everyone else to go out and do something in Foch.  

I also catch myself getting upset over the price of food here when I could get almuerzo for $2.50 in Ecuador and missing Taconazo with all my friends and a tower of micheladas after classes.  So Ecuador, I will see you shortly, probably at some point during this summer.

To my friends in Ecuador and the others who will be flying back into the States shortly, know that y'all are on my heart every day and that I had my best semester by far because of you.

Don't be dismayed by goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

-Richard Bach

Why all I really needed was Ecuador.

Wow, has it been a while or what?  I have been here for 100+ days but my time is winding down and I really am sad about it but I'm also excited to get back into my game in the States.  Well, at least for a short time.

A lot of people still ask me here and there why I chose Ecuador to study abroad and there are a number of reasons that I really thought were necessary to share so that my family and friends could kind of get a feel for it.

1. I really, really, really just cannot see myself in Europe.

--As an international security major, along with other things, I just could not picture myself in Europe.  I am not fashion forward, I have no desire to be, and let's be honest, I don't have the money for it.  All you Europe kids, you go!  I'm sure it's a wonderful place, but I like to be in the sticks in countries that are struggling because I think it's interesting to see how "the other half" lives.

2. Ecuador has E V E R Y T H I N G.

--I guarantee you that anything you could possibly want, Ecuador has.  Amazon rainforest?  Yep.  Galapagos Islands?  Yep.  Big cities?  You got it.  Mountains?  Sure, hope you love hiking.  Coast?  The beaches are beautiful.  Waterfalls? Lakes? Rivers? Craters? Open air markets?  ALL OF IT!

3. The language.

--Ecuador has some of the purest Spanish that I have ever heard spoken.  Despite their slang, the pronunciation is phenomenal and a perfect learning environment.

4. South America, in general.

--While I thought about Spain and even Cuba to study abroad in, I soon came to realize that Ecuador was going to be a new adventure.  I really knew nothing about the country's past or really even their present when I came here but I have learned SO much.

5. I needed to better myself.

--There is always room for improvement as a person, both for your personal benefit and for the benefit of people around you.  I am learning to NOT be a picky eater, for one.  For two, you learn what being genuine really means here; the people are friendly and hospitable.  It sounds so cheesy, but you really learn how to appreciate what you have and WHO you have when you're studying abroad.  You meet people who you know you're going to be leaving behind in 5 months or less, which for someone like me, is heartbreaking.  I have always loved meeting new people and leaving them behind is the worst, especially when you're not even going to be in the same country or on the same continent.  The brighter side is that that part also allows me to grow as a person and learn how to maintain relationships.

6. I wanted to prove that I could survive studying abroad in a "third world country" with no issue.

--I blew that proposition out of the water.  I didn't survive.  I thrived.

It's truly heartbreaking, ending another chapter in my life and uprooting and leaving more friends behind.  There are a number of things I am excited to return home to but other things I'm going to miss.

What will I do when I have to drive everywhere again?  When I don't wake up to seeing mountains every morning and having the comfort of Colombian arepas right around the corner?  When I don't wake up to three different kinds of fresh fruit, a scrambled egg, fresh fruit juice and fresh bread EVERY MORNING?  

I only have some days left to enjoy my time in Ecuador and that leaves me with teary eyes, but Oklahoma calls (only for a few weeks) and then back to COLOMBIA!  As this chapter ends, another one begins.  Maybe it will have to have English subtitles.  So I'll leave on this note.

But if these years have taught me anything it is this; you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.

-Junot Diaz